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We’ve all been there. You’ve set a big, exciting goal, and the first thing you want to do is share it with the world. You want the support, the congratulations, and the encouragement from friends and family. It feels good to speak your dreams into existence, right? But here’s the surprising truth: Sometimes, keeping your goals to yourself is the best thing you can do for your success.
While sharing your goals may seem like a natural thing to do, and while it can be a part of creating accountability, there are several reasons why you might want to reconsider broadcasting your ambitions. You might be surprised by the psychological and emotional impact that sharing your goals can have on your journey toward achieving them. So, let’s dive into why sometimes silence is golden when it comes to your dreams.
The Social Validation Trap
One of the main reasons you might want to keep your goals to yourself is the subtle trap of social validation. When you share your goals with others, it feels amazing to get a positive response, to hear words of encouragement, and to bask in the admiration of others. However, this “social validation” can trick your brain into feeling like you’ve already accomplished the goal, even though you haven’t lifted a finger toward achieving it yet.
Here’s the science behind it: When you talk about your goals, your brain releases dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical. Dopamine is responsible for that sense of pleasure and reward. Unfortunately, this chemical release can trick you into thinking that you’ve already achieved your goal, which reduces the motivation to actually take the necessary steps toward it.
This is something I’ve personally experienced. There was a time when I excitedly shared a huge goal I had with a close friend—about launching my website. They congratulated me and praised my ambition, and I felt a warm, positive rush. But later, I realized that I had spent so much time reveling in the approval that I hadn’t done as much work on the goal itself. The excitement from sharing my goal, rather than pushing me forward, temporarily satisfied my need for achievement.
The lesson? Keeping your goals to yourself can help avoid the trap of feeling like you’ve already “won” before you even start. It keeps the focus on action rather than external praise.
The Risk of Unwanted Opinions
Another reason to keep your goals private is to protect yourself from unsolicited opinions. When you share your dreams, you open the door for other people to project their fears, doubts, and insecurities onto you. Everyone has their own perspective on what’s possible, and sometimes, well-meaning friends and family members will tell you why they think your goals are unrealistic or too ambitious.
While these opinions are often rooted in care, they can also create doubts in your mind. If someone close to you says, “That sounds hard” or “I don’t know if you can do that,” even if they’re just being cautious, it can cause you to second-guess yourself. If you’re sensitive to the opinions of others, these external voices can easily become a roadblock on your journey to success.
I’ve found that when I kept my goals to myself, I avoided unnecessary negativity. For example, when I first launched my website, I didn’t tell anyone until it was up and running. It wasn’t that I didn’t want support—it was that I knew some people might doubt me. I also knew that sharing my goal prematurely might expose me to unwelcome skepticism, which could have weakened my confidence. By working in silence and then sharing the finished product, I was able to receive genuine support, free from the influence of negativity.
The Power of Working in Silence
There’s something powerful about working quietly and letting your results speak for themselves. Some of the most successful people in history achieved their goals in silence, letting their actions do the talking rather than seeking constant validation or approval.
Think about it: the most innovative entrepreneurs, writers, and creatives often keep their ideas and projects under wraps until they’re ready to launch. They don’t feel the need to talk about what they’re doing at every stage of the process. Instead, they focus on executing, adjusting, and refining their goals without the distractions of external opinions.
One example that comes to mind is J.K. Rowling, who wrote the Harry Potter series while facing rejection after rejection from publishers. If she had shared her goal with every person she met, she might have been discouraged by the negative feedback, or she might have started doubting her ability to create something successful. But instead, she kept her writing to herself and let the book’s eventual success be her statement.
Similarly, when you work quietly, you avoid the distractions of others’ expectations and remain focused on what matters: the process of achieving your goal. It’s often the quiet, behind-the-scenes work that leads to the most impactful results.
The Risk of Spreading Yourself Too Thin
Sharing your goals can also inadvertently lead you to spread yourself too thin. When you tell others about your dreams, especially in a social context, there’s a tendency to start talking about them over and over again. You might get caught up in explaining your vision or defending your ambition, which takes away precious time and energy from actually doing the work.
When I first started writing articles for my blog, I shared my goal with a few people. Their excitement was contagious, but I found myself constantly talking about my ideas with others instead of sitting down and writing. The more I talked about my goals, the less I focused on the actual process of writing. This is a trap many of us fall into—talking about goals can feel productive, but it doesn’t actually move us any closer to achieving them.
By keeping your goals to yourself, you free up more energy and focus for the work that matters. Your time and effort become more intentional, and you can direct all your attention to what will help you succeed.
The Fear of Judgment
Finally, sharing your goals can open you up to judgment. No matter how supportive people are, there’s always a chance that someone will doubt you or criticize your approach. The fear of being judged or ridiculed can be paralyzing, especially when it’s something personal or deeply important to you.
When you keep your goals private, you eliminate the risk of judgment from others. You can set your intentions without worrying about what others think, and you can act freely, knowing that the only judgment that matters is your own.
This is why I’ve often chosen to stay silent about my personal aspirations. I’ve realized that the journey is mine to navigate. When I focus on the work and the progress I’m making, the opinions of others become less significant. The freedom of creating without the pressure of external judgment is incredibly liberating.
Final Thoughts
So, what’s the takeaway from all of this? It’s not that you should never share your goals with anyone—it’s about being mindful of who you share them with, when you share them, and how much you share. There’s a time for external support and a time for internal focus. If you want to protect your energy, avoid distractions, and safeguard your dreams, sometimes the best move is to work quietly, stay focused, and let your actions speak for themselves.
The next time you set a big goal, ask yourself: Do I really need to share this right now, or can I keep it to myself and let my work shine? Trust in the power of silence and give yourself the space to build your dreams without external pressure. And if you need more inspiration and encouragement along the way, don’t hesitate to follow the PureSelfHelp Facebook Page for ongoing support!
